Alaska was changing even before I left it in 1982. Global warming was easier to notice up there. The solid blanket of snow from November to May was no longer solid, with rain a common occurrence in December and even January. The Portage Glacier ice field, once bordering the Seward Highway, retreated over a mile and the visitor’s center had to show tourists the glacier in slide shows not open windows. The melting glaciers left behind a very different place.
New plants and animals have taken up residence and existing life struggles to adapt. Humans too. Alaska always had a misanthropic bent, but much like the rest of the world, it is becoming more volatile, violent, and reactionary than before. People strain to keep up with change.
Growing up there, every step I took left an impression on a place that I loved. It didn’t matter how careful, how nice, or how compassionate I tried to be, I caused harm. Is this related in some way to what the Christians call “original sin”? To me it was. Going out to nature may be a palliative for peoples’ souls, but being there can degrade it.
I’ve lived in cities ever since. The land under cities has already been trampled. I wish that was enough. It isn’t, of course. There is less air to breathe every day. The car I drive, the plane I ride, the life I live continues to melt the ice and clog the water. Staying away hasn’t made it better.
What should I do? I’m unsure.
At the moment, I’m leaning against the back of my car, looking out at the world, and waiting for someone with the right tools to help me put things right.
I’m ready to see the lights.
